Had a lady at the library critique my dialogue and she was right

I was reading a scene from my fantasy story out loud to myself in a quiet corner, trying to hear if the banter felt real. This older woman walks over and says 'your characters sound like they're giving a lecture, not talking like people.' She pointed out that nobody says 'indeed' three times in one conversation unless they're a robot. That was three weeks ago and now I read every line of dialogue out loud before I keep it.

2 comments

2 Comments

paigep2011d ago

Sometimes robots talk cooler than people though.

veram9911d ago

Nah, I gotta push back on that. Robots talking cool is fun in theory, but if your reader can't tell if your character is human or a machine, you've got a problem. The point of dialogue is to make people feel like they're eavesdropping on real conversations, not reading a script. When I write, I try to imagine how my buddy would actually say something-lots of filler words, interruptions, and short sentences. If you lean too hard on "cool" robot talk, you lose that natural rhythm and the reader checks out. Have you ever tried recording your own friends talking and writing down what they actually say? It's a game changer for learning how not to sound stiff.