Got told my dialogue was 'too on the nose' and it wrecked my whole approach

I was in this online writing group and someone read my short story about a guy losing his job. They said every line of dialogue was just characters saying exactly what they felt. Like the wife literally says 'I'm worried about our finances' and the boss says 'You're being let go because of budget cuts.' I thought that was good writing lol. But the feedback was basically real people never talk that direct. They said try having characters talk around things instead. So I rewrote the same scene with the wife asking about 'that email from the boss' and the guy just saying 'the car needs an oil change' instead of answering. It felt so wrong at first but now I can't unsee how fake my old dialogue was. Has anyone else had a critique that made you totally rethink a basic skill like this?

2 comments

2 Comments

uma_johnson29d ago

The oil change thing is perfect. I had a similar moment when someone told me my characters all sounded like they were giving testimony in court. Once you start listening to how people actually talk in real life, the subtext stuff just clicks.

-1

jennys7229d ago

Guess my characters sound like they're on trial too.