My secret comfort food switch: canned oysters on saltines

I used to think oysters were just for fancy dinners, paying $18 a dozen at a raw bar in Portland. But last January I tried a $3 tin of smoked oysters on saltines with hot sauce and it hit different. Now that's my go-to lazy night meal, way more comforting than a bowl of ramen or mac and cheese. My wife thinks it's gross and leaves the room when I open a can. I get the smell is strong but the salty, smoky flavor with that crunch just works for me. Anyone else got a weird canned seafood habit that people judge you for?

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alexw7519d agoProlific Poster

Hold the phone, I gotta push back on this one. Canned oysters taste like the inside of a rusty tackle box, and that's being generous. The texture is like chewing on a wet sponge that's been left in the sun, and the smell alone could clear out a crowded elevator faster than a fire alarm. I've tried them three different times, different brands, different sauces, and every single time I end up chasing the taste away with a handful of mints and a glass of orange juice. Saltines and hot sauce just make it worse, like you're trying to mask a mistake instead of owning up to it. Honestly, I'd take a sad, cold bowl of instant ramen over that any day, at least it doesn't make my kitchen smell like low tide for three hours.