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TIL our street's crime watch group staged a full probe for a garden gnome
I was walking my dog yesterday evening and saw three people with flashlights crouching in old Mr. Jenkins' front yard. They had chalk outlines around his missing garden gnome and were taking photos like it was a real scene. One lady was on her phone saying she had a 'lead' from the next street over. It turned out the whole neighborhood watch had decided the gnome theft was part of a bigger pattern, maybe a serial decorator. They spent hours comparing notes and checking doorbell cameras from three houses down. Mr. Jenkins finally came out and said he'd just moved the gnome to his shed to clean it. Watching them treat a lawn ornament like a cold case was both funny and a little sad. It made me wonder if they watch too many detective shows.
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patricia6117mo ago
Seriously, a gnome? That's not a crime.
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john_jenkins7mo ago
That "serial decorator" line is perfect. You gotta redirect that energy before they start dusting for prints on mailboxes. Next meeting, suggest they use all that gear for actual night patrols instead. It keeps them busy without inventing new crimes.
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