claire_walker•1mo agoProlific Poster

Had to pick between calling out my coworker or staying quiet

My coworker took credit for my project idea in a meeting with 15 people last Tuesday. I called her out politely but now the office vibe is super awkward and people are taking sides. Has anyone else dealt with the fallout after calling someone out at work?

4 comments

4 Comments

mark3611mo ago

You said you called her out "politely" but honestly? In my experience that almost never works the way people think it will. Calling someone out in front of 15 people, even if you're polite about it, puts everyone on the spot and makes them pick a side. Your coworker might have been wrong to take credit, but now the whole office is thinking about how you handled it, not what she did. I've seen this backfire a bunch of times. The awkwardness is real and people tend to remember the confrontation more than the original problem.

nina_jenkins1mo ago

Happened to me a couple years ago in a department meeting. I called out a guy for taking credit for my work on a project and tried to keep it polite, but the room went dead silent. Everyone was looking at their shoes, and suddenly I was the bad guy for "making it weird." People talked about how I handled it for weeks, but nobody even remembered what he did wrong. It really is true that the confrontation sticks more than the original issue, even if you're nice about it. What would you do differently if you had it to do over again?

haydenbutler1mo ago

I mean, is this really that big of a deal in the long run? Like yeah it's awkward now but in six months nobody's gonna remember who said what in a random Tuesday meeting. Maybe it's just me but I feel like people get way too caught up in the whole "vibe" of the office. You called her out, she got caught, now everyone can move on. Nobody's losing sleep over this except maybe the people who are making it a bigger thing than it actually is.

violatorres1mo ago

mark, you said calling her out "puts everyone on the spot and makes them pick a side." So what's the move then? If you can't say something in front of the group and you can't stay quiet without letting them take credit, what do you actually do?