Update: compared my parents' 'tough love' to my friend's parents' 'talk it out' approach and the difference was huge

My parents always told me to suck it up when I was stressed, while my buddy's folks sat him down and asked what was wrong every time he got upset. I ended up with panic attacks at 22 that took a year of therapy to fix, and he's the calmest guy I know. Did anyone else get the 'stop crying' routine and realize later it was just bad advice?

2 comments

2 Comments

margaret3041d agoMost Upvoted

Tbh @thea_mitchell20 that dog story hit home. My friend Jake had the same thing happen when his grandma passed in high school - his dad just said "people die, get over it" while his girlfriend's mom brought over a whole lasagna and sat with him for hours. Jake's thirty now and still clams up if you ask about his feelings, literally changes the subject to sports every time. Meanwhile his girlfriend from back then, she's a therapist now and says her parents always let her cry it out. It's wild how those little moments from years ago stick with you.

thea_mitchell201d ago

Oh man, I had a friend in college whose dad literally told him to "man up" when his dog died. His roommate's mom sent a care package with cookies and a handwritten note. They're both in their thirties now and guess who still can't talk about emotions without getting awkward.