My Tinder date called me out for over-explaining and it stung

I went for coffee with a girl named Jess at a spot in Portland last Friday. She asked why I like hiking and I gave her a 5 minute ramble about elevation gain and trail maintenance. She just said 'you do that a lot, don't you?' and she was totally right. Has anyone else had a date point out a habit you didn't even notice about yourself?

3 comments

3 Comments

morgan_ramirez2mo ago

Wait, did she actually say it like that or was she trying to be playful? lol. I feel like there's a big difference between someone pointing out a quirk in a rude way versus a more joking way. Over-explaining is such a common thing though, I do it too when I'm nervous or just really into a topic. Trail maintenance sounds totally normal to bring up if you're into hiking, but I get how a 5 minute ramble might have been a lot for a first coffee date. It's honestly kind of cool she noticed it though, means she was actually paying attention to how you talk.

eric_murray262mo ago

@morgan_ramirez, yeah she was definitely just playful about it...

oliviat171mo ago

Oh man, this is so relatable! lol I did the exact same thing on a first date once but with bird facts, I went on for like 10 minutes about migratory patterns and the person just nodded the whole time. I didn't even realize until they said "you really know your birds" in this super flat tone. It's kind of sweet though when someone catches that and tells you about it, even if it's a little awkward at first. I'd way rather have someone point out my rambling than just sit there quiet and never say anything. It shows they were actually listening instead of just waiting for their turn to talk. And honestly, trail maintenance is a solid topic for hiking people, I bet she was genuinely curious about parts of it before it got too long.