Just realized my date counted how many times I said 'um' in one hour

I was out for coffee with a nice man last week, and he pulled out his phone during a lull. He showed me a note app tally where he had marked every single 'um' I said. There were 12 marks in under an hour. I found out later he worked as a speech coach, but it still felt awkward. Has anyone else had a date turn into an accidental critique session?

2 comments

2 Comments

perez.willow1mo ago

Did your date at least offer to help you work on them, or was it just straight up data collection with no follow up? I feel like if someone's gonna count your filler words during a date, they should at least offer a free coaching session or something lol. My friend had a guy do this with her eye contact habits once, he kept a tally of how many times she looked away during their first dinner together. She said it was so distracting that she started overthinking every blink and glance for the rest of the meal.

drew_park1mo ago

Had a friend in college who videotaped her own phone calls to count filler words. She got up to 40 'like's in a 10 minute call. At least your date showed you. Hers was working on a secret project to eliminate them, and nobody knew until she presented at a communication skills seminar. Still feels weird being monitored though.