I always thought being honest about a bad first date was a mistake

Last month, I went out with someone from an app and the vibe was just off, like we were from different planets. Instead of the usual 'had a nice time' text, I sent, 'Hey, I didn't feel a spark, but I hope you find it.' She actually replied thanking me for not ghosting and we had a short, nice chat about the weird sushi place I'd picked. It felt way better than the usual awkward fade out. Has anyone else tried being that direct and had it go okay?

3 comments

3 Comments

the_john13d ago

Three years ago I told a date his cologne smelled like a wet basement and he blocked me on everything. The Jenny story about the car alarm laugh proves most people can't handle that kind of honesty, even if it's true. Your sushi place chat was a lucky break, not a new rule.

the_jenny18d ago

Ever try to be honest and it backfires hard? I once told a guy his laugh sounded like a car alarm, which was maybe too direct. It did not lead to a nice chat about the restaurant.

jade_singh18d ago

Totally get that. The key is to keep it about your own feelings, not their actions. Saying "I didn't feel a spark" works because it's about you. If you make it about them, like "you talked too much about your cat," that's when it gets messy. I've found a short, kind text right after the date is best, before any weird expectations build up. It clears the air for everyone. What did you say the last time you had to let someone down?